A MOTHER’S RECKONING: LIVING IN THE AFTERMATH OF TRAGEDY
By Sue Klebold
I can’t really think of a word that describes this book; heart-wrenching is probably the closest I’ll get, and that doesn’t begin to cover it. I had to put the book down while I was still reading just the introduction, because my heart was pounding so fast and I was almost gasping, as I realized how painful the story I was about to read would be. To live with the fact that your beloved child has died, has committed suicide, after murdering the beloved children and family members of others is almost too much to comprehend. Sue Klebold tells her story with unflinching honesty about the pain and the guilt that she continues to carry to this day for not recognizing in her son signs of depression and brain illness that were some of the driving forces for the Columbine killings. But the book isn’t a woe-is-me/I’m-a-victim-too story at all. It’s about her family’s life, what happened as she knows it, and how much she didn’t even find out about her son’s activities and the events of that day until years later. It’s about what we so often miss, as parents, in our communications and day to day experiences with our children, and it’s about what to pay attention to. It’s about not feeling guilty (even though she deals with that) when we’re doing the best we know how to do, and it’s about how to do better. She’s frank in that she knows and admits how the tragedy her son was instrumental in causing has been a blueprint for other shootings. She doesn’t flinch from the truth, even though it’s so apparent how terrible it has been to live with the fact that her son caused so much agony to others. I think this is an important book to read for those who so quickly blame the parents when children do terrible things. There are so many factors, so many unknowns, and so many things to look for.
Reviewed September 2016
House of Black and Blue 